The one-night stands are becoming more frequent. No wonder you know a chic @ at the disco and spend the night with that person, however, the next day ....¿ what happens? Cosmo will discover the keys for one-night stands.
Today things have changed considerably over previous generations. What was once a commitment for life, has now become one-night stands. All this has to do with the style we have adopted, much more informal, more focused on fun and less on appearances, we also changed the way we communicate why we send more sms than phone calls.
Many women, especially college-feel that sex without commitment or casual sex are their only option. "Roll has replaced relationships as the main form of socialization between men and women in universities," says Diana Freitas, sexologist. People think that if you want physical intimacy and affection, has no choice but to adapt to the situation, but really seeking is a relationship with commitment. "And that, oddly, is what you want most women. Cosmo A survey found that 73% of girls wanted the traditional events were more common. So we decided to analyze what has created the boom of one-night stands, the pros and cons of non-exclusive relationships, and what you can do to make appointments do not fall into oblivion.
The roll has won, why?
The term "roll" has been used a lot, but some recent cultural changes have placed it at the cutting edge. On the one hand, young women are more focused on their studies and career than find a husband. Now that it is more socially acceptable to marry, engage in the hysteria over the score does not exist. And besides, with an average of 60% women and 40% of men on campus, the chances of finding a stable relationship are not too promising. "Women find that, with so few men, they can not hold them too," says Catalina Benitez psychologist. Boys, on the other hand, they feel like they are in a sweets shop ... with so much to choose from, are reluctant to stay with just one woman.
Those who have a formal relationship, are often ridiculed by his friends. They have an enormous pressure to fulfill the motto 'colleagues before the brides'. "The phenomenon has also been fueled by shows like Sex and the City or Gossip Girl, which, according to Beatriz de Paul, a university professor of psychology," no strings attached sex uplift and we present it as the standard to follow. " And, of course, by technology. "Before being required to plan ahead," says de Pablo. Now, with messages or with social networking, facebook, myspace, etc ... last minute plans are possible ... including the more daring. "
Is sex without ties is a good idea? The
Experts, however, say that the disadvantages of having one-night stands without compromise outweigh the advantages. "For starters, there is still a double standard," says Benitez, "women who have casual sex are frowned upon, while men are applauded for it."
De Paul has done extensive study on college girls and it is revealed that 44% of women are disappointed by this type of relationship, and not because they are considered a "fresh", but by something much deeper. Their study shows that it is common to have casual encounters with the hope that it will become something more serious. Women often hold more negative thoughts a day after a one-night men. That suggests that there have adapted so well to this type of event. "Sexual activity causes the release of oxytocin, the hormone that binds us emotionally. And it is very powerful in women, "says psychologist Diana Civera.
is very easy for a woman to think that only what is going well and then your body's master and create feelings of a man. "Rolls, therefore, may end in disappointment. That is a feeling that Noel, 19, knows well. "I started to roll with a guy just for fun, he tells us. But then I started to want to have a relationship and I was devastated when he said he thought we had reached the agreement that was not anything serious. "
For women, the one-night stands are unsatisfactory both emotionally and sexually. "In casual sex male pleasure is a priority," says Paula Tolosa, Professor of Sociology. In these meetings, the men reach orgasm 44% of the time, and women only at 19%. And another fact: 45% of occasions including oral sex, but by her, of course. And besides, the culture of one-night roll ends up having a rebound effect when you finally want to commit. "No know how to negotiate in a relationship. You have not learned to communicate effectively, "says Tolosa.
Beyond the roll of a single night
Your best defense is a good offense. Diana Civera recommends looking for love where there is already some level of respect (an old friend or co-activities), and try to wait a while to have sex and set the tone for the relationship. If things get intimate before, attempts to correct the course of events.
suggests something relaxed and without much weight, like going to breakfast or take a bike ride. "If you leave the next morning, the boy will think the only thing you care about is sex, "says Civera. If you do something with it after get up, you send the message that you care for more than a roll. "If you're in a non-exclusive relationship and want something better, express. "Men feel more comfortable with emotional intimacy if you do not make eye contact," says Tolosa, and that brings up the subject when you are sitting shoulder to shoulder. "If he answers that he likes you but does not want to have a relationship , deal with it! Sure it hurts being rejected, but knowing what to make you feel free to seek a more meaningful romantic relationship ... and satisfactory.
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